Living overseas you are more aware of your surroundings, people, culture and manners. As an expat I am always observing the Chinese culture and how they react to me. I have to remind myself whether I have a positive or negative encounter it doesn’t reflect on the culture as a whole. There are good and bad eggs in every culture.

The Chinese culture is full of contradictions. When walking on the street most of time when you say ,”Ni Hao” (Hello) or smile they will reciprocate. This is not the general case in the United States. As a foreigner you will also experience something the natives won’t, awareness. It is really common for parents to push their children into saying “Hello” to us. It’s also common to have natives start conversations with us so they can practice their English. When Denny and I first got to China we had a woman approach us and say that she wanted to be our friend because she wanted to practice her English. (I appreciated her honesty but felt a little used. In China being able to speak English is a commodity and can be expensive.) Being a Caucasian in China you will always stick out and be known as the foreigner. The stares can either be a “pick-me-up” or annoying depending on your mood. Currently Denny and I are receiving lots of eyes, “Foreigners on a Chinese motorcycle is apparently really funny”.

The contradiction that exist in China is because of the Communist Revolution; people are also very closed to anyone outside their family. The Chinese people in general don’t trust people because during the Revolution they would be reported, imprisoned or killed. The parents generation experienced that change and raised children with that mind set. As a foreigner you can experience the shift in the young generation figuring out relationships. I mention all this because Denny and I have been in China for about 9 months and have only been invited to a Chinese home twice. (Our first time I talk about in this post.) Each of those invitations Denny and I felt so loved and got to see a deeper aspect of the Chinese culture. To invite a foreigner to your home is an honor, it will make that individual feel welcomed and loved.

A couple weeks ago Denny met a Chinese man while eating street food: Chinese BBQ. The man invited Denny and I to his friends home for a dinner. The biggest thing that I took away from this meal was the love this group of Chinese people had. The Chinese man, GG, who was hosting the dinner told Denny and I we were welcomed to his family, which included friends he has had for years. This invitation shows radical love. What would that look like for you in your home country?

5 Tips on How to Love on a Foreigner

1) Invite them into your home

Expats are away from their family and friends. In an alien land where they are out of their comfort zone. To invite a foreigner into your home it means something. A home is a very personal space and for those who invite into it, it’s an honor. It’s in the home that the raw part of culture is unleashes. When Denny and I ate at GG’s home we saw a glimpse of how the Chinese live and got to practice our Mandarin.

2) Cook them a meal

There is nothing like home cooking. Chinese food cooked at home is different than eating out. It taste very similar but different for some reason. It was at GG’s dinner that I had my first roasted chicken wings in China. I didn’t know they existed here.

3) Help them do simple errands

Everything takes longer and is more complicated while living overseas. This past week we had to ask natives for help. Our shower nozzle broke so we called our school to send a repair man over. We needed to send money home so we asked a friend for help at the bank. The language barrier and not knowing the area makes it difficult. If you know a foreigner that is new to your country be their friend and/or offer your number to them if they have any questions.

4) Be a tour guide

It took Denny and I months to figure out where to buy what, which restaurants we liked and expat friendly places in Qingdao. Denny and I just learned a month ago of an affordable clean massage place. Offer to help a foreigner figure out the area. Recommend good stores, restaurants and activities to them.

5) Help them navigate the grocery store

I don’t know what more than half of the food is in the Chinese grocery store (Pictures of a Chinese grocery store.) Offer a foreigner easy local recipes they can make and take them to the grocery store.

Most importantly, be a friend, a foreigner will feel loved if you just give them your number and offer to answer any questions they might have while living in your home country.

Pictures from GG’s dinner

This is GG’s room.

 

GG made a lot of sea food for dinner. Denny loved this fish. 

Part of the spread. GG later brought out a tofu soup dish. My favorite dish were the wings. They were delicious. 

This woman helped a lot when we were communicating. There were two Chinese people that spoke English, and three Chinese that only spoke Mandarin. It brought for an interesting meal. (Notice in the picture below that the Chinese use tissues for napkins.)

For drinks there was tea, soda or straight hard liquor. The Chinese are known for drinking liquor by itself and not mixing it. 

 

Do you know of a foreigner you can love on better? Have you ever felt welcomed in a country and why? What did the natives do to welcome you? 

10,000 Smiles

Which smile made you smile? Vote on the bottom of this post. Pictures are numbered.

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