Power to Choose in Marriage

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We come into our marriages with our own personal experience of woundedness. Woundedness is what we can carry when we have been in relationships where we have either been betrayed or wronged in some way.

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Treating our woundedness takes time, and takes conscious choices.

If not treated properly, we can allow the woundedness to control us. We can give permission to focus on the hurt and pain alone. That is when we can be prone to living as if we are the fallen victim to this world.

It is easy to get stuck into that hole, and start a downward spiral in our thoughts and feelings, and allow those things to control us. When in truth, we have been given this gift of power to choose how we think and how we treat others.

The problems and issues we all have are easy to zoom in on. Sometimes only the problems are what eyes can see and our minds hone on. So of course, our natural response is to find a solution, as for all the “how to” books. Just trying to gain enough knowledge to fix our problems and issues, but I wonder if thats really treating the problem? Are we actually finding the cure to our problems?
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The gospel is the cure for all mankind.

The gospel of Jesus as the Healer, is Who we need to care for and treat our wounds and the deep cuts within our hearts.

The fear of Jesus is to look upon Him as Healer and as our Cure. As we fear Him, we are able to have eyes that look outward and upward, rather than our prone inward and downward.

As we lift our heads to the true Cure of our problems, we are given the power to choose how to respond to present and future conflicts when they arise. We are able to truly care for and see the other as more valuable in their hurt and distress.

In Jesus, we actually have the power (possess the power) to make the choices that will allow our marriages to bloom with joy, freedom, service, and love.

Application: Taking Thoughts Captive

Married Couples

Start becoming aware of your thoughts. Realizing and sometimes even talking them out loud can help decipher between your thoughts.
Use the power you have to choose for the good thoughts and throw out the bad ones.
Communicate to one another about some of your thought processes and what thoughts you’ve been able to sift out.

Engaged Couples

Encourage you to pay attention to thought process, and to prayerfully be aware of them.
When you are around your fiancé, prayfully start using your power to choose what thoughts to believe about your partner and then an action should follow.