St. Louis Jewish Wedding Traditions: Pre-Ceremony

Generations of Jewish heritage begin to sprout up in the most recent marriage. They are both the youngest of their separate Jewish families, while are the richest in their families origins. They both have this zeal for their Jewish background and decided they wanted to carry on the traditions of their generational history. The challenging part was how little knowledge they really had of how their Great Great Grandparents actually celebrated weddings. They didn’t know the details and therefore had to take time to do research of their own.

Below is the perfect blog post for a couple who is similar to the couple described in this story. A couple who desires to know more about their Jewish history so they may honor those in their family who have gone before them, making a way with their foundation of faith and belief.

In St. Louis, there is a rich history of the Jewish people. That richness is reflected in many historical roots. In fact, right in the heart of St.Louis, stood the oldest synagogue west of the Mississippi River. With the people, majority of its necessities sprouted from this Jewish community who engulfed their whole lives with city living. For example, it was a Jewish man who started and owned the first permanent general store. The community carried a deep and intense love for their city, St.Louis. And they demonstrated their love, by just how well they care for each other and their place.

With such an overwhelming sense of pride for their large communities, weddings were treated no differently. With special treatment, careful traditions, and beautiful attires. For some of us, the most common and only Jewish marriage phrase we know of is called Mazel Tov.

We are going to get into all the fun and intricate details of the Jewish Wedding Tradition to learn and perhaps even be influenced by for future wedding styles.

St. Louis Jewish Wedding Traditions: Pre-Ceremony: Part 1

As with any wedding, keeping the traditions in the mix always bring a depth of love and gratitude to the day. There is a purposeful link between what has happened in your families past, what is going on in your present families, and what generations are to come in the future. There is a common thread slit right through the same family but different generations. Such details like rituals are treasured and used to honor the past, present and future. Traditional Jewish language, they use the term “kiddushin” for marriage, translated to “sanctification” or “dedication.” Either of those translations define the event not only as a social arrangement, but indeed spiritual fulfillment of a mitzvah.

Fasting

Some Jewish couples use their wedding day as an opportunity to fast, representing the day of forgiveness that it is. This is a ritual similar to one done for Yom Kippur. When deciding whether or not to fast for your wedding day, consider how your bodies respond to the feelings of hunger.

Kabbalat Panim

This is a different twist on regular wedding tradition: the bride and groom being kept from seeing each other for the wedding morning, until the bride walks down the aisle. For a Jewish wedding, the bride and groom, known as, “the chatan and kallah” and not allowed to lay eyes on the other for a whole week, before the wedding. The absence of seeing the other person makes the heart grow fonder. Emotions of anticipation and excitement start to grow as the wedding day gets closer. To honor their week long absence from each other, they make sure to make their guest greetings separate, which is called “Kabbalat Panim.”

Think of the ways a kind and queen are treated, and those are the ways the kallah and chatan are recognized. For example, sitting on a throne is the kallah, waving and commending their family and friends, while on the opposite side is the chatan, being sung to and cheered to.

Not only is there a tradition of the bride and groom happening, but there is a tradition for the mothers of the bride and groom. This is called the Ashkenazi tradition. Together they stand should to shoulder with a plate in hand, and smash it to the ground. They do this to symbolize the seriousness of the commitment their son and daughter are about to make. Once a plate is broken, it truly can never be restored back to its original state. Same goes in a marriage. Once a the relationship and commitment has been broken, the relationship can never go back to its fullness.

Badeken Di Kallah (Veiling of the Bride)

Seeing a bride walk down the aisle with a veil covering her face can be the most gorgeous time while also representing significance. In the Jewish tradition they call this part of the ceremony the “badeken.” Modesty and treasuring the heart and soul of the bride are the two significant messages during the veiling.

Instead of the groom unveiling the bride, the chatan walks over to the kallah (bride) to lay the veil over her face, to show her his commitment to protect her and treasure her heart.

Seeing this tradition done is more common at Jewish weddings and sets the foundation of modesty and purity  for their marriage.

Preparing for the Huppah

To represent purity, the groom allows his closest family friends to dress him in a all while garment. For the Jewish religion, it is critical to demonstrate the forgiveness and cleansing of sins. A white garment does just that. He shows that the groom has been forgiven and made as white as snow.

Placing ashes on the head of the groom is also a very common tradition during this part of the pre-ceremony. This is to honor the fall of the Jerusalem Temple. Normally the ashes are immediately removed after the huppah ceremony has finished.

The Wedding Day

The wedding day has been set up on the most beautiful way possible. It is like the sun rising, piercing the darkness, and shining only light. The wedding day can now be fully enjoyed and be at the fore front of everyone’s attention. For the Jewish people, the wedding day is seen as the holiest day of their life, hence why all the detailed tradition are so significant and taken to the heart.  This is the new day for both the bride and groom to show they have been given a fresh new life through forgiveness. 

What a gorgeous way to represent such a meaningful and influential community. Choosing to have your heritage and generational traditions be a part of your wedding day adds dimension and support to the new family generation you and your spouse are about to start.

IF YOU LIKE THE EXPERIENCE SEEN IN THESE PICTURES YOU CAN BOOK YOUR MEMORY MAKING WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER TODAY!

Many thanks to the wedding creative team who helped in the celebration of two souls committing the promise of forever:

Venue: Blackstone Country Club | Royal Palms Resort and Spa | El Chorro | Inspiration for these St. Louis Wedding Locations: FOUR SEASONS HOTEL ST LOUIS |  THE CHASE PARK PLAZA  | MISSOURI BOTANICAL GARDEN | BUSCH FAMILY ESTATE AT GRANT’S FARM | SILVER OAKS CHATEAU | PEABODY OPERA HOUSE | THE CARAMEL ROOM AT BISSINGER | Photographer: APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY

Research Sources: The Knot | Aish |Reform Judaism | My Jewish Learning