Advice to Think About Before You Live Overseas
There is not enough advice I could give a fellow expat considering living overseas, some things have to be experienced first hand. I don’t regret these 9 months of living in China. My views on culture have widen. My mother nicely worded my experience in China to be like a gem. She says that it has, “… shaped [me] even more into who [I am]..” If anything, I recommend that every Western person to step outside their comfort zone and live in an Eastern culture. However, there is one piece of wisdom my husband, Denny, and I wish we had known before we had settled here for a year: know how you are going to do community before venturing.
When I usually meet another fellow expat they ask, ” How do you like China?” This is a loaded question but the first thing that comes to my mind is “lonely”.
“Why is it lonely?”
“The number one reason is because of the hours that I work. The twenty-one hours I work are week nights and all day Saturday and Sunday, also known as the times when people usually hang out. Denny and I in the States received most of our community in our church. In China we can’t attend church. Before we came to China we were praying that the local international churches would have small groups we could connect into but we quickly learned that wasn’t an option. From my experience of living overseas for almost one year this is the one reccommendation I have for a future expat. If you plan on getting a job with our hours, week nights and weekends, than I reccommend coming with a community who will either live with you or have the same time of hours. If you don’t have our hours than it will be no problem connecting and meeting up with other fellow expats.
“Neuroscience indicates humans are biologically predisposed for communal experiences…community is the default state of the brain. When isolated, the organ actually enters into a state of distress…’Brains do much better at handing stress when they are connected to other brains in community'” Johnathan Merritt in a Relevant’s Magazine Issue 63
Do you feel lonely? If so, it’s okay to be where you are at. It’s a normal feeling. We were designed to want and have community. Not having community makes living overseas that much harder.
On a Personal Note
This whole post was inspired by some friends of Denny and I, Jackie and Joshiah,who reminded us that China is livable if you have people who understand community. They recently visited us before they headed back to the states.
Their company was rejuvenating for our soul. I look forward to this summer when expat friends in Qingdao are off school and friends visit us from the States. ( See more pictures from their visit here).
10,000 Smiles
If you are new to this website stick around and check out some of my favorite post (Change Dynasty, Children in the Marketplace, lunch on the streets in China, acrobats outside a sky-riser in China, how to be thankful, you are a pearl, how to live in the moment) and my 10,000 Smiles Project. You can received updates by plugging your email on the left hand sidebar or “like” the 10,000 Smiles Facebook page.
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