Receiving Gifts and Physical Touch

Blackstone Country Club Wedding Photos | Scottsdale and Phoenix Wedding Photographer | April Maura Photography | www.aprilmaura.com_0064.jpg Before we move on into our Love Language Marriage series, we want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas. We hope you are enjoying this sweet season of time with family and friends as we celebrate the true gift of life. In the spirit of Christmas, giving and receiving gifts is a part of the day that is of importance because it represents so much more than the gift itself. It represents thoughtfulness, care, and kindness. It shows the other person just how willing you are to show them the love you have for them.

Receiving Gifts

It seems like the appropriate time to get into the love language of receiving gifts since we all just spent a little time doing so in the past couple days. For some people they put little value of receiving a gift. It doesn’t really speak much to their heart. For others, receiving a gift can mean the world. It doesn’t even have to be a very big gift. Just a small little something to let them know you were thinking of them can do their heart so good. Even the gift of your presence is very real to the people who have a high “Receiving Gifts” score. They find meaning in what you sacrifice and do for them. These people are normally the really good gift givers because they know what to look for and how to do it.

So maybe you have a spouse who scored high on the Love Language profile, and you scored the lowest on receiving gifts. That is okay! There is so much room to grow in this area. There is no need to feel like you have to go big or go home with the gifts. Pace yourself. Start small. Start with thoughtfulness. Begin with listening to what your spouse talks about a lot. They might leave subconscious clues about things they love and what means a lot to them. Keep them in mind, and start there. You might end up learning a whole new world about your spouse in the process!
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Physical Touch

On to the second to last Love Language…physical touch. This one is for all the huggers out there. It is pretty easy to pick out a high scoring “physical touch” person when you see them interact. You are probably thinking of people in your life right now who line up and demonstrate their love by how they hold your hand or maybe just put their arm around you. Physical touch enjoy expressing their love and feel so love by any sort of interaction with the person they love.

Receiving physical touch from their spouse shows that they are being thought of and most importantly, cared for. They love to show their care and affection and so in order for them to know they are cared for and others have affection towards them, physical touch is the way to their hearts.

If you are like my husband and I, I have the lowest score on Physical Touch and yet it is my husband’s highest. So how do you take a person who doesn’t communicate love by physical touch at all and tell them to show their spouse love through physical touch? This has been the question I have been asking myself. At the beginning of the study group, I was putting too much pressure to get it right and felt like I wasn’t going to be good enough at giving him his love language. Which in the end, didn’t make it enjoyable for me to gift him with his love language. After a week or so, I realized he more loved just the fact that I was trying and learning to grow into it. He has been gracious and understanding knowing it’s not a strong point for me and has allowed me to learn how and when to show him physical touch.

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In the End

In the end both of this love languages actually have the same “heart wants.” These languages both speak to the spouse about how much they are loved, cared for, thought of, and appreciated. They all demonstrations of love that we can do here and there to show we are willing to lay down our own wants and desires for the sake of the other. We don’t need to hit a home run. We just need to take it one run at a time with ourselves and with what we are learning.

Application

Receiving Gifts: Write down one thing during the week that you hear your spouse talk about enjoying or liking. The next week follow it up with either buying it or doing it. If you know your spouse enjoys a Starbucks or some flowers, I would encourage you to surprise them on a random day with that special little gift.

Physical Touch: Twice a day look for opportunities to be affection with your spouse. Maybe in the car put your hand on his or hers. When you’re sitting at the dining table maybe put your hand on his or her leg. Even a 10 minute foot massage (5 minutes each foot) is easy enough and will do wonders for your spouse.

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