Planting the Good Stuff

Have you ever just got done pulling weeds out of your garden to then walk out only a couple days later to even more weeds? One minute you are relishing in how clean your garden looks after all the effort and hard physical labor you put into it and the next minute you realize the weeds are back and stronger than ever!

Well this little analogy is similar to marriage. Last week we went over “pulling the weeds” out of our relationships and how God honors that kind of hard labor. But we can’t just stop there. We have to replace those weeds with something else to grow. We have to nourish the soil and plant something beautiful that we want in our marriage to grow.

If we leave the soil without anything new to plant to replace the old, then you can almost guarantee those old weeds might start making their way back.

So let’s start planting…

What Kind of Seeds Are You Planting?

We can either plant seeds that give sweetness to benefit our marriage, or we can plant seeds that are disruptive and cause dissension between us. There was a time in our marriage while being overseas that I could feel God tugging at. My patience levels at night seemed to be getting lower and lower. Let’s just say there is a whole different me who comes out when I hit the wall. At the time, it didn’t seem like that big of deal.

“Everyone is impatient when they are tired right?”

“Of course I was impatient…I wanted to go to bed early and felt tired, so it’s okay that I was impatient with my husband.”

These little  justifications that seemed to be harmless actually began to spring up to an ugly rotten piece of something. Shortly after a few impatient nights in a row, I just started feeling overall impatient. It wasn’t just at night anymore. It was when I woke up and throughout the day. I started to realize, there was a seed I planted that seemed harmless in the beginning, but began to grow and fester in a way that actually harmed our marriage. Thankfully the Holy Spirit brought this to my attention and I started to wake up feeling guilty about how I was talking to Jordan before going to sleep. God eventually led me to a place of needing some refreshing repentance.

Little did I know that my “selfish” choice to allow my need for sleep was completely over riding my love for Jordan. I was planting seeds of impatience into our marriage, rather than selfless love. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good feeling.

I share this example because majority of the seeds that we plant take place in our everyday mundane choices. We have daily decisions to say yes and no to. Whether they are in our minds or by action, those choices add up to bear fruit of things that are pure, noble, good, and true, or things that are lifeless, selfish, unworthy, and untrue. And I think we all want the taste of the good fruit.

How to Plant Good Seeds

We all want to plant seeds that are good, but it’s not easy. With day to day life it can be messy, hard, and complicated. It is easy to justify out choices by what we face in our daily circumstances. Good fruit might take a while to see, but planting good seeds is what I believe in all our hearts we truly desire. Often times our flesh gets entangled into what we desire the most that it chokes out the good seeds and begins producing the rotten fruit. So how can we plant more of the good seeds and stay clear of the rotten in our marriages? Honestly, there is no one singular answer to this other than these two helpful truths:

• We require help. Simply put. We cannot do it on our own and the good news is that we are not left to figure it out on our own. We have the Holy Spirit, who is our Helper and Comforter, to help us to make good everyday choices that are honorable and good. Daily, we can ask Him for help to make those choices.
• Take every thought captive. By being self-aware of the thoughts that are in our minds, we can be more conscious to make a “right and good” decisions. Sometimes small decisions don’t seem to have an impact on us in the moment, but with the help of the Holy Spirit and by taking notice of what we are thinking, we can have a more accurate way of thinking and make the choice we truly want.

Final Encouragements

Married Couples:

• Talk together about what kind of seeds you desire to plant in your garden of everlasting Marriage.
• Write every seed down (approx. 5 different seeds, such as patience, kindness, selflessness, etc) on a piece of paper like you are making a list.
• Ask God specifically for help to grow these seeds in your marriage. After you ask Him for help, focus on one seed a day and make every decision based on planting this one seed. Example: Mondays = Patience, Tuesdays = Kindness, Wednesdays = Selflessness.

AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild

Note: We do not hold degrees in psychology, nor are we doctors, but people who have a heart to share wisdom.

MANY THANKS TO THE CREATIVE TEAM WHO HELPED WITH THE PASEO WEDDING INSPIRATIONAL:

Venue: THE PASEO | Designer/Florist: HERITAGE FLOWERS AZ

Photographer: APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHER | Dress store: SUZANNE’S BRIDAL

Dress Design: VAL STEFAN  | Couple: Josh and Kathryn

Inspiration for these St. Louis Wedding Locations: FOUR SEASONS HOTEL ST LOUIS |  THE CHASE PARK PLAZA  | MISSOURI BOTANICAL GARDEN | BUSCH FAMILY ESTATE AT GRANT’S FARM | Silver Oaks Chateau | Peabody Opera House | The Caramel Room at Bissinger