Treasuring Sex for Our Good

Well welcome to our last chapter of The Meaning of Marriage: Chapter 8 – Sex and Marriage. This is a topic that isn’t necessarily getting a lot of attention these days. Sex alone is, but sex and marriage? Not so much.

Every person has their own perspective of sex. We all come from different backgrounds, have different relationships, and stories that play a role in that perspective. From our stories, beliefs about how sex should be lived out and in what context differ from person to person. When we conjure up a bunch of different influences of false realities, whether from the media we watch, the music we’ve listened to, or conversations with friends that we engage in, we are left with an imprint of what sex is. So those things actually influence what we believe about sex and overall what we do with sex. These beliefs on how we view sex eventually have a impact on how sex plays out in our marriages.

We have mentioned intimacy a few times so far in our marriage series. We determined that there isn’t a relationship more intimate than a marriage right? Well sex has a big part to do with that. It is a act of love, a renewal of vows, a sacrificial giving pleasure, that is glorious when it’s treated and kept to the high treasure that it is. However, because of our human fragility and the power of sin that occurs when intertwined with such a passionate desire of ours, sex can get twisted in being mis-used and abused. This chapter helps us to better understand what sex is and what it isn’t, so we may have a healthy view of it, and realize how precious a gift it really is. Maybe then we can genuinely believe that for singles, sex is worth keeping a sacred view of and for married couples, that it is worth continually pursuing.

I am going to start today’s post by introducing three types of common perceptions we have on sexual relations and then our next post, we will wrap it all together.

“Sex is just an appetite; No, it’s not”

Keller starts out by suggesting how some people view sex as they view food. There is an natural appetite, so they have to fill it with a variety of it. They want to get all the different taste sensations. Sex was created as a natural desire, but sex wasn’t created to be a free for all, fill the appetite whenever we need. Sex cannot be in the same family as food and sleep. When sex is a shown as an act of self-giving, it actually provides to be more rewarding. It is so often that sex is to fulfill our own desires, rather than for the pleasure of the other person. Sex wasn’t created to be giving to multiple people either, but specifically to the one whom your soul loves. The person you marry.

“Sex is dirty; No it’s not”

Now that we know, sex isn’t an appetite to just fill whenever we need, we also need to know sex isn’t dirty either. We can also be influenced by common religious groups that stamp sex as being a dirty act. Almost as if sex is all together impure.  Sometimes, if sex has been used outside of marriage in our past relationships, we can carry an underlying veil of shame and guilt. Shame and guilt can find their way into our present relationships and also influence the view that sex as dirty. Sexuality is deemed as good in the Bible. From the moment God created Adam and Eve, he said “It was good.” Sex is a healthy demonstration of love. When it is nurtured and cared for in the arena of vulnerability, trust, and safety in marriage, it has room to grow and get better and better.

“Sex is strictly a private matter; No it’s not”

Sex always involves two people. When we view of sex as strictly individual, and used as a private matter, it might not be experienced to the fullest of what it was created to be. It was created for two people for a reason. Marriage is a unique blend of two people becoming one. There is a sacred union of two hearts giving each other all of them. There is no private when another person is involved. Even when you are not married, sex still involved two people. There are deep desires of everlasting love, and unconditional love that happen while engaging in sex outside of marriage. That is because it was designed for marriages to deepen in love, renewing in faithfulness to each other.

Let’s hold fast to these truths of how God sees sex. He see it as a treasure. God views sex as good. God holds it to a high gold standard because God always creates the best. And He especially wants to give us His best. So may we choose to believe Him, and believe that He created sex for the good of two people. It is a beautiful thing that He wants us to cherish and keep in our hearts to be fully experienced as the glorious gift that it is.

Application

Married Couples: It is often as married couples to not fully reflect mutually and communicate to each other about our sex life. Maybe try to have one open and honest conversations about how your both feel the sexuality in your marriage is going this week.

Engaged Couples: Reflect individually back on the truth of how God sees marriage, and how He sees sex. Establish connection within a group setting that can help you have honest conversations about the value of waiting until marriage to have sex. Temptation is real, so having those connections will help you think out with truth what is the long-term best for your marriage. Even if you’ve already had sex outside of marriage, that is okay. Maybe this is a time to start fresh, with a new perspective on sex and marriage. It’s not too late to begin to develop a healthy outlook on something worth experiencing to the fullest with the person you love most.

See Nick and Danni’s original Farm at South Mountain Wedding Here!

If you’re just joining us, you can catch up here:

• NEWEST ADDITION TO APRIL MAURA PHOTOGRAPHY: MARRIAGE SERIES AUTHOR
• SEARCHING FOR THE SECRET OF MARRIAGE
• UNVEILING THE GREAT SECRET OF MARRIAGE
• BEING LOVED SO YOU MAY LOVE
• POWER TO CHOOSE IN MARRIAGE
• DO YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISES?
• “I’M SORRY, I CAN’T GIVE LOVE IF I DON’T FEEL IT.”
• COMMON PURPOSE DRIVES FRIENDSHIP IN MARRIAGE
• PURPOSE IN MARRIAGE
• AS TIME GOES ON
• THE GREAT DANCE
• ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE? 
• SINGLENESS AND MARRIAGE
• LIVING YOUR “HEALTHIEST EVER AFTER”

AUTHOR OF THE MARRIAGE SERIES: Taylor Wild

Note: We do not hold degrees in psychology, nor are we doctors, but people who have a heart to share wisdom.